No matter where you are
by iliankasmoulinka91
Summary: A set of different drabbles and one-shots, through different times and spaces, about how Eren and Mikasa are meant to be together, no matter where they are. Title based on Mikasa's character song, sung by Yui Ishikawa.
1. In this darkness,you're my flashlight

"Can I get in?"

Mikasa's voice startled Eren's nerves to the point he couldn't stop stumbling against the bed of his cell. Actually, he wasn't waiting for her, not that he were waiting for anybody else. In fact, he didn't want to talk to a single soul, after his argument with Armin...

But how could he say no to her? He turned back, recognizing that sweet and deep voice, the voice that had brought him back to life so many times before, right when he thought there was no way out; the voice of the girl that he once saved from living a damned life...

The voice of the girl who never left him behind, risking even her own life, just for his own sake.

He looked back to the spot where she waited for a soldier to open the cell when he said yes. So he nodded and she got in, the Military police soldier leaving the cell as soon as she was inside.

But Eren didn't dare to look her in the eye, afraid of starting another fight, or just stain her with the weight and darkness of his sins.

"Eren..." she called him, her voice weak. The candlelight marked the shadow of her profile in the wall, making him get lost in her blurred image.

"You shouldn't be here, Mikasa."

"But I want to."

He sighed. The brown-haired man looked as if he was carrying a huge weight on his shoulders. And he was; and she could see through that.

Because she knew him better than anybody else.

"What if..." he breathed, leaning forward against the wall so he wasn't able to look at her. "What if they think you're a traitor too just for being here?"

Mikasa took a step forward, hesitantly, because she didn't want to bother him.

"I'm not a traitor and you're not one either."

"That's not what they think," he finally said, turning back. "And you should stay away from me."

"No, I won't do that. That may be what they think but that's not what Armin and I think, Eren. You know that. You know that we are on your side."

Eren snorted bitterly, his hands in his head.

"Armin... I don't know about Armin anymore."

They both fell silent. Eren didn't move away from the wall, but Mikasa couldn't allow herself to end a conversation that hasn't even started. She knew him, she knew he was desperate, in the verge of despair; Mikasa knew that he needed a shoulder where to put his tears on.

And she was that shoulder.

Actually, she felt that she could be anything he needed her to be.

That was how much she loved him.

"Eren..." she called him again, her voice weak and heart trying to get stronger when he didn't dare to look at her. "Do you remember..."

"What?" he asked when he heard her sudden pause. She continued, taking a deep breath and clearing her throat as her heartbeat increased second by second.

"Do you remember that time when I made Armin and you fall to the river and you guys caught a cold?"

Mikasa's question bothered him slightly. He frowned, bewildered, thinking that this was not the right time to talk about something like that, much less about the past.

"Yeah... I do. But why are you -"

"I was so worried... You and Armin shivered a lot and all I could do was walk with you until we all got home," Mikasa giggled, as much as her sadness allowed her. "I thought you were going to tell aunt Carla what I did, but you guys just lied to her saying you both fell by yourselves when actually I was the one who pushed you both thinking that I wouldn't do any harm..."

"You didn't do any harm. We were just playing."

Mikasa sighed in relief when she heard him. His voice sounded smoother, calmer and even more relaxed; and maybe he was. Eren didn't know how much good her presence made to his poisoned soul.

"I know, but still... You guys didn't want me to get into trouble and you lied to aunt Carla so she wouldn't scold me," Mikasa paused. A slight gust of cold wind from the window made her shiver, and she covered her mouth with the edge of her scarf. "Those were good times, you know..."

This time, Eren turned back to look at her. Green eyes meeting dark ones, but not for a long time, as if he was afraid of her to see through his spirit and be able to watch all the dirt he thought that was inside him.

"Times that will never come back."

Hesitant, Mikasa pulled him by the edge of his shirt. She was waiting for him to get rid of her, but he never did such a thing, and instead he let her lead him until they made it to the bed and found a seat.

"I... I also remember that time when Armin gave me a flower and kissed my cheek... The day I turned ten. You started acting weird and ran home, leaving us alone after that."

Eren snorted, interrupting her.

"I was just... jealous, you know. He had an annoying ability to find the best flowers for you and mom and I could never surpass him. Besides, he kissed you before I could do it..."

He stopped, realizing inmediately what he had just said, their faces turning into a blushing mess. Mikasa's dark gray eyes traveled down to the floor to avoid his stare, but Eren couldn't help look at her with a subtle smile at the moment he remembered how beautiful and precious she was to him.

Eren couldn't help but remember all these times he had been about to lose her, all these times he had run away from her, not thinking about what she felt.

Maybe it was late to care about it.

Maybe it was too late to tell her that he never meant to hurt her and leave her alone.

But when she was by his side, Eren thought that he had plenty of time left to mend his mistakes and close his wounds, no matter how cursed he seemed to be.

With her, he felt there was nothing he couldn't do.

"I always loved when we climbed up to the roofs to watch the town from above -"

"And the day Armin almost fell... We had a hard time trying to save him. I almost had a heart attack."

They both giggled, so low that their voices were barely audible. She loved seeing him smile; he loved seeing her smile.

In all that chaos, laughing was just as relieving as scandalous.

"At least we could catch him." she said, with a subtle and cute smile drawn in her lips. When Eren looked at her, tears flooded his eyes.

"Yeah," he made a pause. He didn't know why, but it didn't matter how painful were the memories of their past, he didn't want to stop listening to her. "Mikasa..."

"Yes?" she said, turning her eyes to him, again. He was perplexed about how she had never stopped trusting him, how her eyes looked for his, as if she was always willing to understand him, despite of all the wrong he had done.

As if she was the only one left in his little world, a world broken by the curse he carried in his veins.

"I'm sorry."

Mikasa stared at him, not believing her ears.

"Sorry... for what?"

Eren sighed. He was trying to hold his tears back.

And maybe, she knew it.

"Sorry for everything I have done... For not being able to give you the peaceful life you always wanted. Because now that I look back, I've realized that all I have done has been pointless... Even I am useless."

She gasped, feeling all the weight of his shoulders on hers. Something was breaking inside her the same way his composure broke in front of her eyes. Something so strong at other's eyes but so weak when they look at each other, undressing their souls. Eren could see the tears in her eyes, and this time, he couldn't hold back his.

"You have never been useless, Eren. Never."

"I am, Mikasa. I just fucked everything up. Every time I try to save you and everybody else, I just screw it all. All this power inside me is useless, me having it was a mistake. Everything I have done has been a mistake. Maybe I just have to give up... Maybe it's time for some other to inherit my titans and let them do better than I can. I'm afraid of harming you and the others..." Eren raised his hand to stroke the scar in her cheek, making her lean her face at his touch. "I'm afraid of myself..."

"Eren..." Mikasa cupped his face in her hands tenderly. Her fingers were warmer than the howling cold air in the dungeons and he shivered after feeling her, realizing that her skin was the only thing able to soothe his demons. "I've always trusted you. You taught me how to never give up, you taught me how to fight when I thought everything was lost, and now is my time to remind you that night when you saved me, risking your own life..." Mikasa's voice threatened to shatter into thousands of sobs that remained locked in her throat. "Maybe it's time for you to remember that all what you have done is because you think we all deserve freedom, and that I will be always by your side."

When Mikasa finished her speech, Eren sobbed loudly, the two crying in silence as tears slid over their cheeks, making their eyes glitter and their hearts shudder.

"I'm not worthy of anything..."

"You are. You are worthy and loved -" he tried to interrupt her, but she didn't let him. "No matter what they say, no matter what they think. I know you, Eren. And even though I don't agree with everything you do, you know I'll always follow you... Till the end of the world."

They both cried. Eren cried his heart out until there was not a single tear left. He cried on her shoulder while she hugged him, because there was a violent storm in his soul he needed to pacify. His demons ate his brains until she kissed his temples, and the whole universe stopped falling when she wrapped her arms around him in a soothing lullaby.

Eren remembered that she was his home.

Mikasa remembered that as long as he lived, she would always have a place to return to.

And when their sobs were nothing more than scared ghosts of their anguished souls, he lifted up his head to look at her, wiping away the remnants of tears that stained her beautiful face.

"I'm sorry... I always make you cry..."

She shook her head, with a sad smile drawn in her lips, not letting go of his face.

"It's okay. I'm okay."

She heard him breathe as if he was about to say something that was coming out of his guts. Their noses and mouths so close that they can feel each other's breathing. Eren swallowed hard, because deep inside, he had craved for her lips and tongue for a long time.

"Mikasa, I -"

The cell door was opened. A soldier came out of the nothing to tell her that her time was already over. She tried to protest, but Eren grabbed her arm, stopping her. In such a situation, it was pointless to reply back.

"Will you be back tomorrow?" he muttered, pain marking the bags under his eyes. Mikasa knew that his question was hiding a _'don't leave me here alone'_ between lines and whispers. She nodded.

"I'll be."

He let go of the edge of her sleeve. Mikasa walked away, but she turned back to him before going out of the cell.

"What?" he asked, waiting for her to say something. She seemed to smile to herself.

"You should cut your hair off or you're gonna get in a vertical maneuvering accident."

In spite of all his pain and sorrow, Eren laughed, for the first time in what seemed an eternity. He laughed because she was with him. He laughed because he wasn't alone, because she was still there, as she had always been.

Mikasa's time was over and she was gone.

But her presence will remain with him till the day he could see her again, bringing to him all the calm he needed.

She would never leave him alone, no matter where he was.


	2. When the green met the gray

_**For the Eremika week 2018. Day 1: First meeting/ First time.**_

 _Thanks to my dear Janet for betaing this chapter_

* * *

Mikasa sighed.

The flickering, incandescent lights of the nightclub focused on the platform, announcing the debut of the best dancer of the night. Every weeknight, the raven short-haired girl delighted the lascivious eyes of lonely, wicked men with impure desires. Men who drowned their sorrows in alcohol while leering at a girl who offered her best movements on the platform, half-naked, in exchange for monthly pay and good tips. Just one condition: see and do not touch. And until then, none had dared to feel with their hands what their minds had already imagined. But she did not care. She would be safe as long as the wretched intentions of the unpleasant gentlemen did not come to fruition, sure that, that night would be like all others: dance, smiles and some hip movements, until finally, tired of feigning happiness in that ridiculous playboy bunny outfit, she could go home with a few bills in her pockets and soothe the famished stomach of her alcoholic father.

She could not throw him out on the street. He was the only one she had left.

So she sighed, steadying herself like every night before this, wearing her best mask to sate her audience while wiggling her hips to the beat of the suggestive music, supported by a bar to satisfy lustful glances and obscene thoughts.

The lights dazzled, turning her into the center of attention for the next thirty minutes, until one of her workmates replaced her. Freeing her from the hundreds of eyes that devoured her shamelessly, except for a pair of emerald eyes that watched her every day, wondering where the girl who wore a coat went after leaving the club with a withered face and a faded smile.

Far from the vice of women, Eren frequented that bar with the desire to quench his thirst for beer after a long work day. But one night, the green of his eyes had crossed with the dark gray of the girl's, and since then, that color had been etched into his brains as poison invades the veins after a fatal bite.

Tying his long hair in a bun, Eren inhaled the cigarette in his hand, following with his eyes the movements of the dancer who now came down from the platform. Long, firm legs, pale as the moon, hid behind black netting as part of the outfit she wore to dance. Her hair, chin-lengthed, black as onyx, was adorned ridiculously with a rabbit-eared headband until she got rid of the ornament with such annoyance. A rude and rough hand spanked her as soon as the girl passed over one of the tables, making her scream with anger; a pair of bearded old men with a grotesque appearance laughed out loud, celebrating boorishly their detestable deed.

"Son of ..." roared the girl; but one of the two cut her exclamation off by holding her arm, with the clear intention of keeping her, turning the young woman into the subject of their fun.

"Price per hour, sweetie? One night with us and I'll give you whatever you want," the tallest of them spoke, his voice husky as he whispered in a pathetic attempt to sound sexy. Mikasa struggled to free herself, but she was cornered between the two beasts trying to take her with them by force.

"Let go, you bastard!"

The laughter that escaped the throats of both men rumbled in the girl's ears. But a new, raspy, domineering voice rose above them and the music with an imposing tone.

"The lady said to let her go."

The boy with brown hair and fiery green eyes made his appearance on the scene as soon as he noticed the atrocity. Mikasa had seen him before, but for her, he had never been more than a regular customer of the bar ...

Until that night.

"And who are you to tell me what I should do? Go away, child. I saw her first."

Eren did not bother to look at the source of the voice. His eyes remained fixed on Mikasa.

"Let her go. Don't you understand, you asshole?" pronounced the boy, in a severe tone, even more rude than before. The friend of the man who held the girl's arm stood up, approaching Eren with clear intentions to intimidate him, and even humiliate him, and thus make him understand who was the boss that night.

"Go with your mom, brat. My friend and I will have some fun with this beautiful lady -"

A fist punched connected with the mouth of the undesirable one, causing an irrepressible drip of oral and nasal blood. Mikasa was released, while Eren was preparing to attest the next blow, unleashing a fierce fight between him and the assholes who were trying to commit a heinous act. Blows, blood, sweat and broken bottles were the protagonists of the fight; Mikasa asked them to stop, along with her workmates, but nothing was enough, until Traute, the owner of the place, stopped the fighters with the resounding bang of a gunshot.

The music stopped, and so did the men who beat a half-dead boy on the ground.

When the blonde woman with plump lips, gestured asking about what had transpired, her clients pointed to the dancer, for not being willing to spend one night with them. And although Mikasa tried to defend herself, everything was useless.

The club dancers were not sex workers.

However, everyone knew that if a customer requested such services, they should be able to offer themselves. After all, the customer is always right. Or at least, that was what Madame Traute thought.

Thus, Mikasa was fired, and her savior was forbidden from re-entering the seedy club. Eren cursed, shouted impolite empty words that were ineffective before the new situation of the girl he had rescued.

Wearing an old coat for warmth and high heels that riddled her feet, Mikasa left the bar, downcast as she wondered what would become of her life from now on.

She counted the money she had received as tips, and the week's pay, and put her hands to her head in despair. She was sure that her father and she would not survive more than a month with what was in her pockets now.

It was cold, and the gusts of cold air caressed her naked ankles with inclemency. Defeated and on the verge of despair, the dark-haired girl sat at the edge of the sidewalk, hugging her knees to warm herself, cursing her life underneath her breath.

She was too young for a life like that.

Nineteen years wasted by her mother's death and her father's drunkenness.

Mikasa looked up to the skies for help, but she only saw the vast darkness that the vault of heaven offered before her.

Suddenly, worn shoes and dirty pants stopped before her eyes, flexing until a battered body descended at eye level. She recognized him; she recognized the intense fire in those green eyes that saved her, and the tanned skin of the fists that rescued her.

A second later, a red scarf was wrapped around her neck, returning the warmth of a home she had never had. Eren did not know why, nor how; all that was in his mind was the desire to protect her, as if he had been born for it.

Finding her was like finding the purpose in his life, after an existence full of failure and nonsense.

Mikasa looked into his eyes, moistening the dark gray of theirs with tears of hope and sadness.

Eren extended his hand to her and she took it. Maybe they had just met; maybe she should not trust him, and the scarf would only be a memory of the night when a boy with emeralds in his eyes saved her from hell.

Maybe.

Only maybe.

Or perhaps, their souls had been taken apart in some other life, and that night they had met again.

When she stood up, Eren looked back, tightly holding her hand.

"Come on. Let's go head back home."


End file.
